Motivational Book, Sample chapters and exerpts

Risking

What is risk?  What do we risk in emotional situations?

Why do we risk?  Why don'’t we?  Is it fear of getting stuff, or fear of failing?  I know for me I'’m more afraid of ‘"catching the car’" than missing anything.  What if I got my dreams?  Or let’s take a step back and wonder, what if we knew what our dreams were?  Wouldn'’t that be half the work?  And then we might know what we were risking for.

Our biggest risk may be looking foolish.  Many times we worry about our appearances to other people.  We worry about shaming ourselves in front of friends and family.  We are often well programmed against shaming our families.  There are many unwritten, often unspoken, rules in every family.  Sharing and good communication is rarely the basis of the family structure.  And it follows us into adulthood and into families of our own.  Look at the reality of this as a risk.  Is your personal growth to be restricted because of ‘what people might say?’ Think about this – - are we to not grow because of people for whom we have no real responsibility? Why do we let them stop us?

How do you realize what your dreams are?  How do you truly know?  It takes honesty with yourself. And quiet time.  It really doesn'’t have to take a lot of time.  But we do lie to ourselves a lot.  It’'s how we get through survival situations.  Life is worth more than survival.  And when you get a glimpse at your goals, don’t turn away.  Don’'t hide your head and pretend that you didn’'t see. That'’s more of a disservice to yourself than never looking at your dreams at all. (See “dreams” pg   )

Without knowing why you are doing something, it seems that the risks are bigger than the purpose itself. When you know what your path is, the risks are put into proper perspective.

Risks should be measured. But don’t over-analyze, either.  There is a medium.  And you’'ve probably had it slanted until now ......

*********************
return to top

Permission to cry

I don’t really need to give you permission.  But there is something in our culture, perhaps may cultures that seems to make it difficult for people to cry.  No doubt this is hard for men, but it is also hard for many women to cry.  When they need to. 

I know I often don'’t give myself permission to cry, or the conditions have to be ‘just right’.  The right shoulder to cry on, no one can hear, no time, or not a ‘good’ enough reason to cry.  But I need to.  Who cares why.

So on to permission.  I hereby give you permission to cry when and how you need to.  Bully to those who hear you.  So don'’t listen to those who tell you not to cry.  It is not about them, it is about you.  And don'’t let others take that away from you.  If you need to cry, you need to cry.  There are pent-up emotions, both good and bad that accumulate and can best be released by crying.  There is exhaustion that can only be truly dealt with by crying.  There is unmitigated joy that is best expressed with tears rolling down the cheeks.  Crying is good. Period.  You deserve it.  And you need it.  And I’'m giving you permission to cry.   ....
**********************
return to top

People believe that life is hard.  Or, No one deserves to be that happy.

Who says? Why?

It saddens me that I’'m the happiest person that I know. That even my friends think I'’m a little weird.  And yet, I think they have me around because they hope some of it will rub off.  Plus, I tend to celebrate their successes and they can’'t really do that the same anywhere else.

I strive to be a minimalist -– that’'s not to say that my house is too barren.  My partner and I have a combined life of over 90 years – that’'s potentially a lot of stuff, but we keep it very low.  We buy very little and that helps.  We are slow at disposing of things, but if it is only going out, it does clear out.

We don'’t worry about our stuff – it is only stuff.  It doesn'’t hold the memories, they are merely reminders.  We don'’t overdo the insurance thing, – if the worst was to happen, how much would we need to go forward?

Generally we sleep well at night, we don'’t wake and worry about noises outside, or inside, for that matter. We don'’t worry if we spill something, we just clean it up.  We take pleasure in the housework that we do.  We do what we’re comfortable with.  And we do a bit extra to put guests at ease. But our home/car/clothes don'’t run our lives.  I have a friend who takes her laundry and has it done by someone else. She can afford it, – it is insignificant next to the value of her time.  I think this is a brilliant quality of life decision. ...
************************
return to top